Lullaby
by wickedly-pure
Summary: He was once her savior, but can he do it gain, or will it be too late? *contains: CURSING; SUICIDE; SUGGESTIVE ADULT MATERIAL* This is a short story, it will be updated often!
1. Chapter 1

It had been two years since I had talked to her. Since I let her slip right through my fingers, just when she needed me most. I certainly didn't do it on purpose. Life just got so busy, and before I knew it, she wouldn't answer her phone anymore. Now she was looking me in the eyes. Not really her, but her picture. I tried to look away from my laptop, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from hers. She looked good, but I could see the pain in her eyes. Her profile was new on facebook. I knew this only because I had looked for her everyday for the past year. My fingers clicked to send a friend request before I could stop them. Within seconds I received a message at the bottom of my computer screen, saying my request was accepted. It was 4am, why would she be up? I couldn't stop myself from looking in the chat box. The little circle next to her name was green. She was online.

_**Hey Sugar, how are ya?**_ Why did I hit enter?

_**Hey, it's been a long time!**_ She typed back. I couldn't believe she was talking to me.  
_**Seems you still keep your late hours.**_ I smiled at her message. My sleeping time was crazy, she knew that all too well.

_**Yeah, unfortunately.**_ I typed.

_**You look good, I watch you a lot.**_ She typed back.  
_**I've tried to find you on here, but can only find your fan page.**_

_**Yeah, I keep my personal page hidden. There are some crazies out there. **_I wanted to delete that word as soon as I hit enter.

_**I understand that. lol **_She typed back. I breathed a sigh of relief.

_**I miss you. Where are you at now?**_ I asked.

_**Florida. I'm working at a bar in Tampa.**_ She replied.

_**WOW! Florida is a big change from Ohio.**_ I said.

_**I needed a change. Things are going really good for me right now.**_

_**I've looked at your pictures on here. You look really good.**_

_**Thanks. **_She typed. I could picture her cheeks flushed at my compliment and I couldn't help but smile. I wanted to ask her what was wrong, why her eyes were so sad, but I refrained, not wanting to push her away when I had just found her.

_**What made you move to Florida?**_ I asked.

_**Just needed a change. Got out of a bad relationship, and thought it would be best to get away.**_

Not another bad relationship. I didn't know how she had made it through the ones she had been through. She was a magnet for pain and punishment. Maybe that was why I was drawn to her. I was her savior at one point in her life. I needed her as much as she needed me. She kept me grounded, and I desperately needed that again. My head had been all over lately. And I needed to come back down to earth. I was a mess mentally and emotionally. I missed my home in South Africa, even though I had been in the US for over four years. I missed my family. Something she always understood. Her mom had died when she was young, and she bounced around between family members, because her dad hadn't wanted anything to do with her.

_**Are you seeing anyone now?**_ Why did I ask her that? What was wrong with me?

_**Not really. I've had a few dates, but nothing serious. You?**_ Had she really asked about my personal life? She must have just been being nice.

_**Not really. You know how it is when I'm on the road**_. Of course she did, that's why I had lost her in the first place.

_**Yeah, I understand. How's your elbow? I saw when you got hurt. I was worried. **_ I smiled, she still worried about me.

_**No need to worry your beautiful self, Sugar. I'm a tough guy.**_ I could again see her cheeks flush.

_**I know you are, but I still worry. How's your family? When's the last time you saw them?**_ She knew me too well.

_**How'd you know I was missing them?**_

_**I could tell. You always miss them.**_

_**I never did when I was with you.**_ Why did I keep typing things like that?  
_**I really do miss you.**_ I needed to stop myself before I made her run.

_**Where are you tonight?**_ She asked. I was surprised that she even responded.

_**New York. Too far away, huh**_?

_**Yep.**_

_**I'll be home next week. How is it that you're in Tampa, and I haven't seen you?**_ She knew I had my permanent home in Tampa. As permanent as I could get. My home consisted mostly of hotel rooms and arenas. But that was my life. The life I had worked so hard to get. The life I had chosen and left everything I knew to get it. That was my life.

_**I wasn't sure you were still in Florida.**_

_**You think we can get together?**_ I knew I shouldn't have asked, but I missed her, and really wanted to see her in person.

_**I work a lot. But we can try.**_ She replied.  
_**When do you get back?**_

_**Wednesday night. Can I have your number?** Then I can call you when I get home._ Don't push it too far, I kept telling myself. I was surprised when her number popped up on the screen.  
_**Thanks.**_

_**I need to get some sleep. And so do you, even though I know you won't.**_ I could again picture her smile.  
_**It was good chatting with you.**_

_**I'll call you**_** soon.** I said.

_**I hope so, PJ. Miss you too.**_ With that she signed off line. I clicked on her photos and found one of her in a bikini. I clicked it and sat back in my chair staring at her perfect body. Her long, dark brown hair was pulled over one shoulder. It brought out her deep green eyes. Her tan skin made her ink pop, and I couldn't help but notice the new ink on the insides of her wrists. I frowned to myself knowing what she was hiding, but deep down I was hoping I was wrong about the sadness in her eyes. She deserved to be happy.


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, PJ. I really didn't think he ever thought of me anymore. But there he was, chatting with me.

I wiped the tears from my face, as I picked up the half empty bottle sitting on the desk. The golden liquid sloshed around the bottle and I thought twice about drinking. But the second thought in my head didn't stop me from bringing the bottle to my lips. I downed the rest of the contents, enjoying the burn as it made its way down my throat. The pain from the burn reminded me I was still alive. Alive? I guess as alive as I could get. My soul was dead. It had died long ago. A little over two years, when Paul Lloyd, Jr. walked out of my life and onto that plane. He had been called up from FCW. He was finally getting his shot at the big times with the WWE. Something that he deserved more than most people. Not because of the time and effort I had seen him pour into the business, but because he loved it with all his heart. I watched him in the ring in person a few times. The sparkle in his eyes was amazing. I knew why he loved it. He felt his dad was with him every time he stepped between those ropes. I got up and walked into the kitchen of the small studio hotel room. I stood on my tip-toes and grabbed the bottle that was in the very back of the top shelf of the cabinet, I knew it was there. He had spent a pretty penny on it when the bar was closing. I smiled as I unscrewed the cap. I inhaled the smell, almost choking, but I held it in.

My eyes scanned the darkness of the room, the soft glow from the laptop screen slightly illuminating it so I didn't have to squint. My hand shook with the bottle in it. PJ wouldn't want me to drink this. I thought that every time I had a bottle in my hands, but then my eyes fell on the bed, and I saw him laying there. A sheet barely covering his nakedness. My stomach turned, and I saw red. The bottle was pressed to my lips and I downed it's entire contents within minutes. I sat the empty bottle on the counter, then silently made my way around the room, collecting my belongings. I slipped my work outfit back on, and tied my shoes. I closed my laptop and placed it in my bag, grabbing my purse and walking to the door. I looked back, not knowing why I always found myself in these kind of places. With these kind of guys. I knew he was married, I knew he only wanted one thing, but truthfully, that's all I wanted. Sex. It had become my obsession. My need. My replacement drug. Something not as dangerous as what I had been doing. But that was me, I was forever replacing my addictions, hoping that one time I would find something that wouldn't threaten to kill me.

I lit a cigarette as I stepped out of the hotel lobby. I almost put it out as the hot, muggy air hit me. It was hot even for Florida. But I enjoyed the taste, it replaced the taste of the alcohol kisses I had received. The streets were empty as I walked towards my apartment. I knew I would never see the guy I had been with again. It was always the same. A man here on business. Partying on his last day away from his family. They always stumbled into the bar where I worked. It was well placed, close to the beach. And when the offer of money was thrown my way, I jumped, every time. I wouldn't call my self a prostitute, but others would. Anywhere from $500 to $1000 to sleep with a guy I would never have to see again. An hour to take me out of my own lonely world. To make the thoughts in my head disappear. To feel wanted. Then he would pass out and I would leave, feeling like the piece of shit I was. I was dreading the walk home, not because of the distance. I was in good shape. I still ran five miles every morning. The 15 minute walk to me was nothing, physically. But I knew my mind would wander as I walked. I knew where it would go, as I let the fingers of my left hand run across the slightly lifted lines on the inside of right wrist. The tattoos did a good job of covering them from anyone who didn't know, but I knew, and so did he.

* * *

_It was an unplanned road trip with my best girlfriends. We drove from Ohio, not really knowing where we were going, but we ended up in Florida. I had just turned 21, and had gotten a small amount of money my mother had left for me when she died. Like any poor person, I went slightly crazy when I had a little bit of extra money. We found a hotel along the beach, and went out on the town. Somehow we stumbled upon a wrestling show. FCW. I was a huge wrestling fan, and I knew that FCW was the developmental league of WWE. It didn't take much urging from me to get my friends to go, after they saw all the hot guys walking in. We were early and managed to get ring side seats. That's where I first saw him. My eyes locked on him as he walked to the ring. Justin Angel. His name was right. He was like an angel. Somehow his eyes locked on mine and he winked at me. I blushed and looked away, but just for a second. My friends were pumped after the show, and we followed some of the locals to a bar that was fairly close to the show. My mind kept flashing back to the smile of the angel in the ring. Drinks were being bought, and we were having a good time dancing in the small bar._

_"Hey, Claire. The guy who eye fucked you from the ring just walked in." My friend, Sarah, said over the music. The song was ending, and I took my spot back at the bar, only to have him walk up and sit down on the stool next to me. It took a while before he started talking to me. He was with his friends, chatting about the matches that night. I knew he had seen me, but it wasn't until he elbowed me pretty hard in the arm that he turned to apologise._

_The second he opened his mouth I fell in love with him._

_"I'm sorry Sugar. I can be clumsy sometimes. Are you ok?" He asked, his accent mesmerising me. His hand was rubbing my arm._

_"That's ok. My drink survived." I laughed._

_"Didn't I see you at the show tonight?" He asked._

_"Yeah. It was a great show." I smiled. "You're really amazing in the ring."_

_"Well, thank you. Was it your first show?" He asked._

_"Yeah, I'm on vacation here with some friends, and I forced them to go." I admitted._

_"Oh, are you a wrestling fan?" He asked._

_"She's obsessed with it." Sarah chimed in._

_"Maybe a little." I grinned._

_"I'm Paul Lloyd. My friends call my PJ." He said holding out his hand._

_"Claire." I blushed, taking his hand._

_"You know I couldn't help but notice you out on the floor. You're a good dancer." He grinned._

_"Thanks." I smiled._

_"You want to dance? With me?" He asked, still holding my hand. After a few minutes, we made our way out of the bar, and found ourselves a few miles away on the beach._

_As the sun started rising above the horizon we made our way off the beach, hand in hand. He walked me to my hotel, and we exchanged numbers. He kissed me softly before letting me go._

* * *

I dug through my bag for my keys as I approached my apartment. It was smaller than the hotel room I had just left. But for right now it was a safe place for me to hide. I showered and then climbed into my bed. Finally closing my eyes for the night, knowing I would see him in my dreams. I smiled as I drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Why the fuck are you so chummy?" Cody asked as we piled into the car. "We have a fucking five hour drive ahead of us, and your fucking smiling!"

I looked down at the picture on the screen of my phone. I had a text all typed out, telling her how much I missed her and that I couldn't wait to see her. But my thumb deleted it.

_**Good Morning Sugar.**_ I typed, hitting sent. It was 10am. A mere 6 hours since I had chatted with her on the computer. She was the only thing that had filled my head since. I felt like a stalker as I scrolled through the photos. Most of them was taken by friends, and she was tagged in them. She had always had numerous friends, no matter where she went. She was very easy to get along with. Very easy going. She was great at putting up a front, and hiding all the pain she felt.

Cody looked over at the phone in my hand.

"Hot, no wonder you're smiling. I didn't know you had someone stay with you last night." He said.

"Oh, no. I didn't. She's an old friend." I said.

"An old friend or an ex?" He asked. "I would've tapped that if I had the chance." He grinned.

"Enough." I said.

"Oh, touchy. So I take it she's more than just a friend, or an ex." He said, apologetically.

"Claire's special to me. She always has been. She's different." I said, smiling as I felt my phone vibrate in my hand.

_**Hey, PJ. ur up early.**_

_**so r u.**_ I text back.  
_**got ne thing good pland 4 2day?**_

_**work, not very fun! :(**_ She replied.  
_**just got back from my run.**_

_**u still run?**_ I asked, remembering the same morning that I had left her at her hotel, only to run into her as she jogged down the beach less than an hour later.

**_yep. 5 miles every morning._**

_**will I make you l8 if I call u?**_ I asked.

_**nope. have nothing 2 do until 3.**_

My fingers shook as I hit the button that exited the messages, and pressed her name, I hit the call button before I chickened out. She answered after the first ring.

"Hello?" Her voice was as musical as I remembered.

"Hey Claire. It's nice to hear you." I said, turning my head towards the window, an attempt to have a private conversation while in a car with three other men.

"You too. Are you on the road?" She asked. I heard a door slide shut, then the snap of a lighter as she took a deep breath.

"Claire, are you smoking?" I asked.

"Sorry. It's a nervous habit. Very nasty as well." She giggled.

"I make you nervous?" I asked, smiling to my self.

"Lots of things make me nervous. I'd say talking to you for the first time in two years makes me something more than nervous." Claire said. "I don't like it, but it helps fill my time."

"You should quit. It causes wrinkles." I laughed.

She gasped into the phone. "Does it really?" I heard her blowing her breath out. "Ok, I'm done smoking."

"Uh, sure. You'll light up before the day is over with." I joked with her.

"No. I'm done. Really. Smoking is something that I never became addicted too, believe it or not."

I found that hard to believe. She had become addicted to everything that was put in her path. She had a very addictive personality.

"I'll trust you." I said, knowing that she needed trust.

"I promise. So how long is your drive today?" She asked.

"We have about five hours ahead of us." I said.

"We? That's nice you have someone to ride with. Probably makes the time go by faster."

"Yeah. It does. But I can think of someone who I would rather have with me right now." I smiled.

"Who?" She asked.

"You, Claire." I smiled at her giggle. "How have you been? Really?" I asked.

"Not bad, since I moved. I've been here for about three months. Things are settled down, and going smooth."

"I didn't ask about things, I asked about you, Sugar." I said, knowing she was one who always was able to get around a question, by giving an indirect answer. She was good at that, but I knew it.

"I've been ok. A little lonely, but ok. I try to keep myself busy." She admitted.

"You're usually surrounded by friends." I said.

"Not true friends. Like you." She said. "Are you really going to be able to get away and see me?"

"Of course. I have to be at the Smackdown taping Tuesday night, then I will be on my way home." I said.

"I can't wait to see you. Maybe you can show me around a little. I haven't seen the sights too much." Claire said.

"I'd love too." I smiled. We talked for a few more minutes, then we were stopping for gas. "I'm going to get off here and run in to get a snack. I'll call you later, ok."

"I work until close, at 3. So unless you're up late again." She laughed.

"You know I will be. Bye Claire." I said.

"Bye PJ." Claire said, hanging up.

I looked around the car as we pulled to a stop, all the guys were looking at me. "Not a word." I huffed, getting out, and walking in to the gas station.

"Ok, seriously, what's the story with this girl?" Cody asked as we got back in the car.

"We dated for a while, then I got my break and we drifted apart." I said. "To tell the truth, she has a bad past. But there's something about her."

"Maybe her body?" Cody laughed.

"Just drive." I said, looking out the window, knowing I was going to drift off to sleep.

* * *

_I could still smell her perfume on my clothes as I drove away. I had spent the last two weeks with her. I had gotten a little time off work, and went to Ohio to surprise her. She welcomed me with open arms._

_"Hey, look out your window." I said, I had been talking to her on the phone for the last hour, and she had no clue I was coming to her apartment._

_"Oh my... Paul!" She squealed and the phone went dead. A few seconds later she was running towards me. She jumped into my arms, pressing her lips against mine. Most of the first few days were spent in her bed. She had managed to call her boss and get the time off work. We were inseparable for those two weeks. That's was when I knew I loved her._

_"I wish you didn't have to leave already. It seems like you just got here." Claire whined in my arms. The scent from her hair filled my nose, as I took a deep breath. It had been a little over six months since I had first met Claire in Florida. We talked everyday on the phone, and she had managed to sneak away for a weekend to see me._

_"I know, but you have to go back to work, and I need to get home and get ready for the show in a few days." I said, brushing her hair out of her face, and pulling her lips to mine._

_I hadn't even made it to Tennessee when I my phone rang. I smiled to see Claire's number._

_"Hey, Sugar. Shouldn't you be at work now?"_

_"Paul?" The voice who wasn't Claire asked._

_"Yeah, who's this?" I asked._

_"This is Sarah. Claire's in the hospital. It's bad." She said._

_"I'm on my way. It will take me a few hours, but let her know I'm coming." At the time I didn't think to ask why, or what had happened. When I got to the hospital I called Claire's phone, and Sarah told me where to find her._

_"They aren't letting us in. I haven't heard anything." She said. It was then that I saw the blood all over her clothes and arms._

_"What the hell happened?" I asked._

_"I don't know." Sarah sobbed._

_The minutes passed like hours as we waited in the small lobby for any word. Finally a doctor came in._

_"Claire Daniels?" He asked. I was on my feet. "Um, she's stable. We can only let one person go back. She will be coming too at any time." He looked at me, then turned to Sarah. "I take it your the one who found her?" Sarah nodded. "The police need to speak with you." He said, leading us down a hall. Sarah was stopped by the police in the hall outside of Claire's room, while I was let into her room. "Just remember she's been through a lot. Don't put blame on her." The doctor said. I didn't understand until I walked in and saw the bandages around her wrists. The girl I had fallen in love with had slit her wrists. Anger flashed through me. Who could have hurt her so bad that she would have done this. I rushed to her side and gently took one of her hands. I brushed her hair off her face._

_"Claire?" I asked. "Claire look at me." My voice was weak, as tears stung my eyes._

_"PJ?" Her voice came out as a whisper._

_"I'm here, Sugar. Are you ok?' I asked._

_"I'm sorry." She barely said, as tears rolled down her face. "I'm sorry."_

_"Don't. You'll be ok." I said, wiping the tears from my face, as well as hers. Just then the nurse came in and was giving her some medicine. "I'll be right back Sugar." I said, walking out to find Sarah. I turned the corner and ran into Sarah with the cops._

_"What the hell happened?" I demanded._

_"She got a call from her dad. She had been trying to contact him for a while. I don't know what he said to her, but I went to get us some lunch before we went to work, I came back and found her on the bathroom floor. There was so much blood. I thought she was dead." Sarah sobbed. I knew about her past. I knew she only wanted to be accepted by her father._

_"She's awake. I have to go back to her." I said._

_"And who are you?" The older police officer asked._

_"I'm her boyfriend." I said, turning and going back to her room. She was now sitting up. When she saw me she wiped her face, but caught sight of the bandages wrapped around both of her arms. She gasped and tried to hide them under her thin covers. I walked over and took both of her hands._

_"Don't." I said with a slight smile._

_"I was stupid. I shouldn't have..." She said._

_"Sir, make sure this curtain stays open. We have to watch her." The nurse said, as she left the room._

_Claire rolled her eyes. "I won't do it again." She huffed. She looked at me. "I should have called you, but I couldn't think."_

_"What happened?" I asked. "What did he say to you?"_

_"That I was a mistake, that he told my mom to abort me, and he wanted nothing to do with me, ever." She cried. "I just wanted the hurt to go away. The pain. I'm sorry. I'll understand if you never want to see me again."_

_"Claire, I love you." I said, kissing her. I watched her as she fell asleep. A few minutes later they let Sarah come into her room._

_"They are sending her to a mental hospital tomorrow. Because of her past, she will have to stay until they are sure she won't do this again." Sarah said._

_"Her past?" I asked._

_"This isn't the first time she has tried to kill herself. Or the second. She has had a really bad life. She's taken pills a few times before while in high school."_

_I sat with her for a few hours until she woke up. She smiled at me. "You need to go home. You have to work." She said._

_"I can stay." I said. I didn't want to leave her again._

_"I'll be ok. You need to get home." She smiled, pulling me into a hug. She pulled her head back and kissed me. "I'm sorry for making you worry." She said._

_"If you really wanted to get me back here, you could have done it without all of this." I smiled at her, as she laughed. I kissed her. "I do love you, Claire."_

_"I love you too, Paul. I'm sor..." I covered her lips with mine, cutting off her apology. I didn't want to hear it anymore. As far as I was concerned she had nothing to apologise for. She had made a mistake in a moment of weakness. I wasn't angry at her for it._

_"Call my phone later. Sarah will leave it here for me. I'll have it until tomorrow when I have to get shipped off to the looney bin." She smiled._

_"Don't say that, Sugar." I said._

_"It's ok. It's not that bad there. Won't be the first time I've been there. But it will be my last." She smiled._

* * *

My eyes snapped open as the image of the tattoos on her wrists flashed in my mind. The pain in her eyes in the pictures was the same as it was then. My stomach turned, I needed reach her soon. I couldn't let her slip away again.


	4. Chapter 4

The days flew by all too fast. I had talked to PJ everyday since first chatting with him on facebook.

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror. I ran a brush through my hair for the tenth time, while checking the clock on my phone. He wasn't late. He still had almost an hour before he was suppose to show up. I nervously took a deep breath. I walked out of the bathroom and looked around my tiny apartment. I looked for things out of place. Nothing jumped out, until I sat down at my desk and opened my laptop. That's when I noticed the half empty bottle of Jack sitting next to me. It wasn't out of place. But I knew that PJ would see it. He wasn't against drinking, just the way I drunk. I drunk for the pain to go away, to feel numb, and every time I had to drink more and more to get the same feeling that would disappeared all too soon. I had learned to live with the rejection from my father and his family. I still had one aunt. My mom's sister, who I had become close with. As close as I could get to anyone that wasn't Paul. He was the only person who knew all of my secrets. At least my old secrets. He had no idea about the new stuff I was doing, or what I had done since he had left.

I picked up the bottle and twisted my wrist, making the liquid inside twirl like a tornado. I watched it until it was still. I unscrewed the top and took a deep breath. Then I quickly twisted the lid back on and walked to the kitchen, placing it high in a cabinet. I closed the door and stepped back. I knew I needed to stop the bad stuff or I would have no chance at getting back into the good grace's of PJ. I wasn't sure what he wanted with me anyway. But I could use a good friend. And if that's all he was looking for it would be enough to just have him back in my life.

What if he ran from me again? I knew he was busy with his profession, and I could deal with it, as long as he called. But what if he saw me, and realized how broken I was? He was always great at reading me, even when I could hide something from everyone else, he could pick up on it. My hands reached for the cabinet, but as I started opening it, there was a knock on my front door.

I jumped, slamming the cabinet door closed. I took a few deep breaths as I walked to the front door. It was still early, I knew it wouldn't be him, but my heart still was pounding in my chest. I looked through the peep hole, and my breath was caught in my throat. There he stood, a smile on his face, and flowers in his hand.

I opened the door and took a step back.

His smile grew. "Hey, Sugar. Sorry I'm early. I didn't really know the area, so I left early just in case I got lost." He held the flowers out in front of him. "For you."

"Thank you." I said softly. "Come in." I said, taking the flowers and smelling them. "Let me put these in some water." I said, walking to the counter and pulling a vase from under the sink. When I was done, I turned and saw he was still standing in front of the door, watching me. I grinned and walked over to him.

"Sorry. Didn't I say come in?" I asked, closing the door. When I turned back he was right there.

He pushed the few strands of hair out of my eyes, as his lips crashed onto mine. His arms wrapped around me, and I followed suit, pulling him closer to me.

"I've missed you, Claire." He breathed as his lips moved to the side of my neck, causing chills to rise on my skin. I let my head fall back and a small moan escaped my lips, and I felt his lips turn into a grin. I tried to keep my hands out of his perfect hair, but I couldn't contain them. His hands raised up to my shoulders, pulling my tank top and bra strap to the side, as his lips continued their tour of my upper half. I let my hands slide down from his hair, to his back, sliding them up the back of his shirt. He took the hint and pulled it off, tossing it behind us. He then reached for the bottom of my shirt, stopping for a second to look at me. I pushed him back a few steps, until he was next to my bed. I gently pushed him onto my bed, straddling him. I pulled my tank top off. He smiled up at me, before pulling my lips back to his.

* * *

I caught my breath as he kissed my forehead, his arms pulling me closer to him. I reached down and pulled the sheet up over our naked bodies.

"Well, I refrained longer than I thought I would." He chuckled.

"What does that mean?" I asked, leaning up on my elbow so I could see his face.

He smiled at me. "I figured it would happen on your porch, so the fact that you got the door closed was a miracle."

I playfully slapped his chest, laughing. "You're still so devious." I kissed his chest softly, then laid my head on him."So what did you want to do tonight?" I giggled.

"I did what I wanted to do." He said, running his hand through my hair, making me look up at him. "God, you're still just as gorgeous as I remember." His compliment made me blush. He smiled.

"You still blush at my compliments. I always loved that." He grinned. "I have worked up an appetite, if you're hungry?" I agreed.

After dinner, we ended up on the beach. He knew it was one of my favorite places. He sat down and pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me.

"You know I have to ask, Claire." He said softly.

"Ask what?" I said.

"What's wrong?" He asked. "Why are you so sad?"

"How can you always read me so well?" I asked.

"I know you. But you're avoiding the question." He said, turning me sideways so that he could see my face. I turned and looked out at the ocean, trying to hide the pain in my eyes, but he reached around and turned my face to his. "What is it?"

"There's so much. If you knew, you wouldn't want me." I said.

"You can't just keep it inside." He said. "I'm here, no matter what."

"No, you won't be. Once I tell you, you'll leave. Just like everyone who has found out." I said, not able to keep my tears inside. I desperately needed a taste of the jack I had put in my cabinet.

"Is it drugs?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No. Nothing illegal. I stopped that when I moved here."

"But there was?" He asked. "What?"

"What wasn't there? It was anything and everything the guy I was seeing would give me." I said. "Sarah finally talked some sense into me and I left him. I got cleaned up, and moved. But once I started my new problems, she couldn't take it anymore. I haven't talked to her in months. I just found you. I don't want to push you away too." I cried.

"Alcohol?" He asked. I nodded. "How much? How often?"

"A lot. Everyday." I said.

"You know, working at a bar sure doesn't help the fact." He said.

"I don't drink while I'm at work. It keeps me busy, I don't have much down time to think, so I never crave it while I'm there." I said.

"Why are you drinking Claire?" Paul asked.

"To get away from the pain. The awful feelings I have." I said.

"Feelings, like before? Where you were in the hospital?" His eyes grew big.

"No. Nothing like that. Just what I'm doing. I know it's wrong. I know I should stop. But it's like I replace one addiction for another, each time trying to find something that won't kill me." I said.

"You're not talking about drinking are you?" He asked. I shook my head. "Then what is it?"

I climbed off his lap and started walking, knowing I had to tell him, but also knowing that he would most likely leave me when he knew. He jogged to catch up to me, walking next to me, as I let the waves wash over the tops of my feet.

"It's not something I'm proud of. Nothing I do has ever been anything to be proud of." I said, taking a deep breath. "I sleep with men for money." I said. He stopped in his tracks. I took a few more steps, then stopped, hanging my head.  
"I told you it was awful. I should have told you before I slept with you. I'm sorry, PJ."

"I don't know what to say." He said. "Why?"

"It makes me feel wanted, at least for a few minutes." I admitted. "I understand if it's too much for you to handle. It is for me too, that's why I drink. To forget what I have done. To forget how awful of a person I am."

He walked up to me and lifted my chin. My eyes locked with him. "Do I make you feel wanted?"

"Always. I haven't slept with anyone since I have been talking with you. And just so you know, there was always protection used." He placed one finger over my lips.

"Will you stop, if you have me?" He asked.

"You don't always have to be my savior." I said.

* * *

_"So I was told that I need to change my ring name." Paul said. He had called me so excited that he was getting called up. I had flown in, to spend his last few days with him while he got ready to go on tour with the WWE._

_"Why? I like your ring name. It really fits you." I smiled. "Justin Angel. You're like an angel in the ring."_

_He grinned. "Thanks, Sugar. But they want a change."_

_"Well, no matter what, you'll always be my personal angel." I said softly._

_"What?" He asked grinning._

_"You know you are. You're like my personal Archangel Gabriel, you bring truth and light into my world." I smiled at him._

_"Hm, Justin Gabriel. I like that. Maybe I'll run it passed them and see if they like it." He grinned._

* * *

"That's not why I came." PJ said. "I came because I missed you. I wanted to see you."

"But you knew before you came that I was having troubles." I said.

"I could see the sadness in your eyes. The same sadness that I saw when I came to the hospital. I was worried. But that's not the only reason I came." He said. "I didn't come here to save you. The reason I came was much more selfish. I came because I wanted to see you, to feel you in my arms again. I came here for my own personal needs and wants. I put my wants first. My needs first. I didn't think about what it would do to you. That it may hurt you. I'm sorry if that's what I have done."

"You haven't." I said. "But I know that you had to know the truth. I knew I should have told you before you came, but was too afraid that you wouldn't come. I'm sorry." I said, looking away again.

"Ek sal altyd kom. Jy is my wêreld. My liefde vir jou. Ek is lief vir jou." He said in his first language.  
"I will always come. You are my world. My love is for you. I love you." He breathed into my ear. His fingers reached under my chin, pulling my face towards his, as his lips found mine.


	5. Chapter 5

The sun shining through the tiny crack in the curtain woke me up. Before I even opened my eyes I smiled. I could still feel her in my arms. Her head laying on my chest, using it as her personal pillow.

She had confessed everything to me last night. It was hard to take, but even after hearing that she was basically prostituting herself, it still didn't change how I felt about her. Or how I saw her.

I could feel her even breathing, knowing she was still asleep. I shifted slightly, to be able to see her face. I never tired of looking at her beautiful face. When I moved, it disrupted her sleep, and she stretched, almost hitting me in the face.

"Your still here." She smiled at me, then placed a sweet kiss on my cheek.

"Where else would I be?" I asked.

"I just thought it may have been a dream." She smiled. She reached over me, and grabbed my t-shirt from the floor.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To make some breakfast, so I can go for my run." She said, as she started to slip her arms through my shirt. I pulled it out of her hands.

"I have another idea of how you can work off some calories." I smiled, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her up until her legs were on either side of me. I looked up at her perfect body in front of me.

She grinned. "I like your idea." She leaned over and kissed me.

* * *

I watched as she pranced around in her tiny kitchen, making breakfast, even though it was more like lunch time. It smelled delicious. She had always been a great cook. I couldn't help but smile at her, noticing how good she looked in my t-shirt. I sat up and swung my feet over the edge of the bed, pulling my boxers on. I walked up behind her, causing her to jump as my arms wrapped around her.

"Miss me already?" She giggled.

"You look too good to keep my hands off you." I growled, pulling her hair to one side, as I let my lips attack her neck. She reached her hands up behind her and ran them through my hair.

"Foods done." She said, as her stomach growled. We sat down at the small table, and I pulled her feet into my lap, not wanting to break contact with her for too long.

"How long can you stay?"

"Until I have to head to RAW." I smiled. She frowned a little. "What is it?" I asked her.

"I have to work tonight?" She said sadly.

"Is it against the rules for me to come and keep you company?" I asked.

"Would you?" She grinned.

"Of course, Sugar. I'd like to see you in action." I smiled.

* * *

After seeing what she wore to work, I wasn't sure I really wanted to go. She had slipped on a bikini top, with a barely there tank top over it, and a pair of shorts that were too short for anywhere but the beach. She finished it off with a pair of flip flops. But once we got to the bar I realized why she had dressed like that.

It was with-in walking distance of the beach, and most of the customers were clad in swim wear.

The bar was rather nice, and I liked the fact that there were several meat-head bouncers placed through out the bar. They all smiled and waved as soon as they saw Claire. She introduced me to all of them, and then I took a seat on a stool at the bar. I watched Claire go to work behind the bar getting ready for the rush hour. She turned around and handed me a drink.

"Their on the house tonight." She smiled. I smiled at her and took a drink. To my surprise it was great. She was an excellent bartender.

"This is really good." I said.

"Thanks, PJ." She said, winking at me. As the night went on, I had to over look several men who made advances towards her. She politely declined their offers, keeping a smile on her face the whole time. For a Thursday night, she made a lot of money in tips. The night was coming to an end, and I was glad to be getting her full attention for the rest of the night. I had walked to the bathroom, and was on my way back to the stool I had been parked the whole night when I looked up to see my seat was taken. The man in my spot looked to be in his mid 40's. Claire was talking with him. I saw that she glanced towards the station where the bouncer was suppose to be several times. I followed her eyes and saw the station was empty. I knew they had a situation taking place on the terrace, so I assumed that's where the guy had gone. I started walking back towards the bar. I sat at the very end away from Claire. I watched the situation for a minute before getting up and taking a seat one down from the man. Claire glanced at me, and shook her head no towards me. I knew she didn't want me to get involved, but I wasn't about to let someone give her a hard time.

"Listen, I got $750 right here." The man placed a handful of money on the bar. "I'll give you half now, and half after." He grinned. "All I'm asking for is an hour. I have a nice hotel room."

"Sorry. I already told you the answer is no." Claire said, turning to walk away. The man reached over the bar and grabbed her arm.

"Sweetheart, don't walk away from me." He said.

I was on my feet the second he had reached for her. "Let the lady go." I said, standing right behind the man.

"And who are you?" He turned, his breath reeked of alcohol.

"I'm the man who will beat the shit out of you if you don't take your hands off her, right now." I said.

"No. Paul, I got this." Claire said. I knew what she was thinking. She didn't want me to get into any trouble, but I wasn't going to let him treat her like that.

"Let her go, don't make me say it again." I said, my hand on his shoulder. He let go of her and shrugged my hand off his shoulder, as he took a swing at me. Reflexes took over. I stepped back to avoid his swing, and let my right fist fly, hitting him in the jaw. He fell to the floor. Claire was around the bar, and pushing me back away from the man, as his friends started getting up and making their way to the scene.

"LUKE!" She shouted passed me, as the bouncer ran over to where she was. "Get him out of here." Claire said, referring to the man still on the ground. Within minutes, there were three other bouncers in the room, ushering the men out of the bar. The bar was now empty. Claire had pushed me into a stool, and she took the one next to me. She sat there, her head in her hands.

"Are you ok, Sugar?" I asked, reaching for her. She turned and took my hand in hers. She examined my knuckles.

"Why would you do that?" She asked, bringing my hand to her mouth, kissing it lightly.

"What do you mean? I can't just sit there and watch someone treat you like that." I said.

"Paul, don't you realize that you could get in trouble at work by doing that?" She asked. "I can see the rumor mills now; 'WWE good guy caught in bar fight.' I don't want to be the cause of you having trouble at work." She frowned.

I slipped my hand behind her neck, and pulled her towards me. I kissed her. "Don't expect that to ever change in me, Claire. I could never stand to the side and let you be hurt. Not when I could have helped it."

She let her hand fall to my thigh, the other went under the front of my shirt. Her hand twisted around the fabric, and she pulled it towards her. Her lips hungrily pressed against mine. I pulled back and smiled at her, it was at that point that I noticed the sadness in her eyes was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

"Thanks for coming." I said as I watched PJ packing up his bag. I was sad to see him go, but I was so happy he had came. He reminded me of who I used to be, and brought that back out in me.

"I had a great time." He said looking up at me.

"Me too." I frowned. "I wish you could stay longer."

"Now that we are so close to each other, next time I'm home, you're coming to my place." He grinned. He zipped his bag up and walked over to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"You know I meant what I said on the beach. I love you." He kissed me.

"I love you, too, PJ." I smiled. I walked him to his car, and watched as he put his bag in the trunk. He walked over to me and pulled me into his arms.

"I'll call you later, once I get to my next town." He said.

"I'll miss you." I said softly.

"It won't be long." He smiled, kissing me deeply. I watched him drive away, then I made my way up to my apartment, pulling a bottle from the top shelf. I twisted the cap off, and turned and poured it down the sink, following it with all the others.

Time passed fast. Months flew by, as Paul and I grew closer. We saw each other almost once a week.

"Hey, I caught an early flight. Pack a bag and get to my place." PJ said into the phone.

I had gotten there before him, so I walked out back. My favorite part of his beautiful home. I grabbed the cover that he always had draped over the fence of the deck, and walked out onto the beach. I spread the cover out and sat down on it. The sun was just setting in the sky. I was lost in my thoughts when PJ walked up behind me.

"Hey Sugar." He said in my ear, snapping me from my thoughts, making me jump.

"Hey." I smiled, leaning into him as she sat behind me. "I've missed you."

"I know. I hate oversea tours." He said. He had been gone for almost three weeks. I had barely gotten to talk with him, they were so busy.

"I did bring you something." He said, putting a box in my lap. I opened it to see a beautiful necklace with a diamond angel on it.

"Oh, Paul. It's beautiful, but I can't take this." I said, feeling guilty that he was always getting me things.

"Yes you can. I had it specially made for you." He said. "Happy late birthday. I hated missing it." He kissed the back of my neck.

"You were where you had to be." I said. "I'm not mad about it." I let my fingers run over the diamond. "I really can't take this Paul. You always get me stuff, and I never give you anything."

"You give me your love. That's all I ever want from you. That's more than enough." He said taking the box from my hands and pulling the necklace out of the box, snapping it around my neck. "Beautiful."

"It is." I said.

"I was talking about you." He said. "Have you ate yet?" I shook my head. "Come on, let's go find some dinner." He pulled me up, and I grabbed the cover, shaking the sand off it. He drove to a nice, quiet restaurant that we frequented.

"Just so you know, I'm having a small get together tomorrow."

"Ok. I can be gone before anyone shows up." I offered. I had never really met any of his friends or co-workers.

"Claire, we've been together for damn near nine months. I'd say it's about time you met some of my friends." He smiled.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes. Why would I not want to show you off?" He laughed. "Besides, it's for you." I looked at him. "I feel really bad about missing your birthday. I wanted to have a little party for you. Give you a chance to meet some new people, and maybe make some new friends." He smiled. "But only if it's ok with you." He took my hand and pulled it to his lips.

"What was your plan?" I asked.

"Just a barbecue. Some swimming. Some fun." He said. "Why do you seem so nervous? You meet new people everyday at work."

"Yeah I meet new people at work, but there I'm not worried too much about what they think of me. Most of them I never see again. These are your friends. What if they don't like me?" I asked.

"Claire, they have all heard about you. They all want to meet you." He smiled. "But I have a question, should I introduce you as a friend or as my girlfriend?"

"Shut up, PJ." I smiled.

"No, I'm serious." He said.

"I'd say we're more than friends." I said.

"Alright, so you will be Claire, more than a friend." He laughed.

"Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?" I asked.

"Yeah, not very smooth huh?" He asked. I shook my head. "I'll make it up to you when we get home."

* * *

"Food's done!" PJ yelled from the grill. I was just inside the double doors that lead to the patio. I was carrying out a couple bowls of chips, when PJ caught me and pulled me too him, kissing me. I was having a great time. His friends were all really nice, most had even brought little gifts for me.

"I love you." He said softly. "Are you having a good time?"

"Yes. I really am. Thank you." I smiled, kissing him.

"Alright, enough mushy face, I want some chips!" Cody Rhodes called from the table. The party continued into the night. It was around 1 in the morning when the final guests were leaving. I was cleaning up in the kitchen when PJ was pulled onto the patio with Cody and Ted. I was still working, loading the dishwasher, trying not to listen to the conversation that flowed through the open windows.

"You need to put a rock on her hand." Cody said.

"We've only been together for nine months. I think it's too early for that. I don't want to run her off again. I've lost her once, I won't take the chance of doing that again." PJ said. "She knows how I feel about her."

"That's not his point. Yeah she knows, but you need to stake your claim on her." Ted said. "She's smoking hot, not to mention her personality. You don't want someone coming up and stealing her away while you're on the road."

PJ laughed. "I'm not worried about that. I trust her." He took a deep breath. "Listen guys, I really appreciate you talking to me, but I know Claire. What we have here is something special, and I do see me asking her to marry me, but not right now. Not because I feel rushed to do it or because she's hot. Believe it or not, she's always been hot. We have a past. Some parts of it were amazing, while others weren't. I want her to know that the things that happened in the past, the things I did wrong, the parts I messed up, will never happen again. I'm committed to her, and she knows that." I smiled, and walked away from the window.

He was right in what he was saying. I knew I loved Paul, I knew I wanted to spent the rest of my life with him, but I wasn't in any rush to have a ring on my finger. We were perfect how we were, and when the time was right, for both of us, things would go a step further.


	7. Chapter 7

I hated what I had to do. I sat with my phone in my hand, I had spent the better part of my day at a local mall, getting things I needed, now I was stuck in the airport.

"Hey, Sugar." I said.

"Hey PJ, What's up? Shouldn't you be on a plane?" She asked.

"I should be, but..." I took a deep breath.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"I'm sorry. My flight is cancelled. There's bad storms here." I said. I heard her laughing.

"Why are you sorry? Did you think I would be mad at you?" She asked.

"Well, yeah, kinda. We had plans." I said. We had been together for a year. The time had flown by. I had been on the road for the last two weeks, and I needed to see Claire. I had made a point of making sure she had a few days off so that she could stay with me, just us, alone.

"It's ok. Austin just called and asked if I could come into work. So I'll just call him back and head there. Any idea how long you'll be stuck?" She asked.

"You know, that's why I love you so much. You never sweat the small stuff." I laughed. "Right now we are stuck until tomorrow, but it may be longer. Stupid lightning. They are calling for storms for the next three days."

"Three days? Man, PJ." Claire said. "That sucks. It's nice here."

"Rub it in Sugar." I laughed. "I'll call you in a little bit, and let you know what's going on."

"Alright, I'll keep my phone on me at work. I'm just back up, so I shouldn't be too busy." Claire said. "Find a hotel room and get some sleep."

"Uh-huh. I thought you knew me." I laughed.

"Yeah I know, but that would beat sitting at the airport all night." She said.

"I love you."

"I love you, Sugar." I said. "Bye." I hung up the phone and started searching for a rental car. I had one day to get home. It was our one year anniversary, and I had big plans.

* * *

"Hey Sugar. Can you do me a favor?" I asked.

"Yeah, what do you need PJ?" Claire asked.

"I'm still stuck here, I thought I would be home." I said.

"Well, since you're still there, I guess I'm not busy." She said.

"I'm sorry Sugar." I said, knowing she was upset.

"No, I just miss you." She sighed. "What was it you needed?"

"Well, I've been away from home for a while, my plants need watered." I said.

"What plants do you have that need watered?" She asked.

I laughed, knowing that question was coming. "I have a couple, in the kitchen and hall." I said. "Just use your key, then if you want, stay there for the night. Hopefully I'll be home late tonight or tomorrow morning. I can't wait to see you. I miss you, Sugar."

"I miss you, PJ." She said. "I'll pack a bag and head over to your place in a few. Well, I have to shower and stuff, will you plants survive for a couple hours?"

"Yeah. Thanks Claire." I said. "I love you. Bye."

"I love you. Bye Paul." She said.

I hated that she was so upset, but I knew why. I tossed my bag across the room, and headed downstairs. I had a lot I had to get done in a short time.

* * *

I looked around the room and grinned to myself. Everything looked perfect, at least I hoped. My mind was running wild, thoughts going crazy. I finally had to turn the lights out and leave the room. I busied myself unpacking, and putting some laundry into wash.

My stomach flipped as I saw the car pull into the drive. Things were set, and I could only hope for the best outcome.

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen. I ran my hands nervously through my hair as I waited for the door to open.


	8. Chapter 8

As I drove to Paul's house I was angry about how upset I had let myself get. A year had passed since we had been together, for the second time. But instead of celebrating with a nice dinner or a night out on the town, I was heading to his house to water his plants, that I had never even noticed in the hundreds of times I had been to his house. A house that would be empty, and to beat it all, I had let him talk me into staying there. Not that I had a problem staying by myself, but I hated staying in his house alone. Everything there reminded me of him. After I packed my bag I jumped in the shower and found myself crying. It seemed like lately anything would make me burst into tears. Now here I was again, with tears running down my face as I thought about the night alone in the house. Not only that, but Paul hadn't even mentioned our anniversary. He hadn't even asked how my day was going. I wasn't mad at the fact that he wasn't home. I really did understand that he was stuck, and it wasn't his fault, but he hadn't even said happy anniversary.

The past year flashed in my mind. Of course we had our disagreements, and fights, but it was never anything that kept me mad for more than a few hours. It had really been a great year, at least for me. When he hadn't mentioned our special day, I began to worry that I was thinking too much of our relationship. I was crazy in love with Paul, and I made sure to show him every chance I got. At the same time, I always felt like the love was returned, but now I was starting to think that maybe he didn't feel the same way I did.

I wiped the tears from my eyes as I pulled into his driveway. For some reason I sat there and pulled my purse onto my lap, digging through it and pulling out my emergency make-up. I pulled down my mirror and touched up my face. I took a deep breath and smiled at myself, looking like I hadn't been crying. I grabbed my bag out of the back and headed into the house. I opened the door and sat my bag behind the door, closing it, and turning on the light switch. I walked into the kitchen to find a watering can. I turned on the light and stopped in my tracks, catching something out of the corner of my eye, in the dining room.

I turned to see Paul standing in the doorway.

"What are you doing home?" I gasped.

"Surprise." He smiled. "Happy Anniversary." He walked over to me and pulled me into his arms.

"I thought you forgot. But how did you get home?" I asked.

"I rented a car. I couldn't miss our special day. I really wish I could have gotten home yesterday." He said. kissing me. "You hungry?" He asked, stepping back and revealing food from our favorite restaurant. I smiled as I let him lead me to the table, he pulled out my chair for me, and I took my seat. He sat next to me, gently pulling my sandals off, and pulling my feet into his lap. This was our normal way we ate. When we were close, we always felt the need to have some kind of contact.

"Thank you PJ. This was really sweet." I said, as we finished up our meal.

"I just want you to know how important you are to me." Paul said. "You mean the world to me."

"Stop." I blushed.

"I mean it, Claire. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you, no lengths that I wouldn't go. Anything you ever need, I want to give to you. I love you. I have felt this way since the first day I saw you, sitting in the crowd at FCW. I knew then what I know now." He stood up taking my hand, pulling me up.

"Claire Daniels, you bring joy to my life everyday. Just waking up and knowing that I get to talk to you is enough to make me smile, but you know I can be selfish. I had to have more than just talking. I had to have you in my arms, to feel your lips on mine, to have your body pressed against mine, but my selfishness still grew. You fill my days and my nights. You have meet my family, my friends, and even when that should be enough, I still want more." He reached into his back pocket, and let himself fall to one knee. I felt like I was going to pass out. Tears started streaming down my face, as I looked at him. He let go of my hand long enough to open the small box that he now was holding. Inside it sat a beautiful diamond ring. He smiled up at me, taking my left hand.

"Claire, I'm asking you to fill my selfish needs for the rest of my life. Marry me?"

I could barely breathe. The air had left the room. I tried to say yes, but no sound left my mouth. I nodded my head. "Yes." I finally whispered. He took the ring out of the box and slipped it on my hand. I pulled him up to me, kissing him.

"I can't believe you did this. How, without me knowing?"

"And here I thought I was so obvious about it, you had to know." He smiled.

"I love you." He said, kissing me.

"I love you." I smiled, looking at the ring on my finger.

* * *

Paul pulled me close to him, pulling the sheet on top of us. He smiled at me.

"Since I took you by such surprise, I have to ask. Is this what you want?"

"To marry the man I can't picture my life without? I am beyond ecstatic." I smiled, kissing him.

"Good. Now, to talk about dates." He said. "I don't want no drawn out engagement. How long do you think we need to pull this wedding off?" He asked.  
"I'm not talking a run of the mill, thrown together wedding. I want it to be everything you have ever wanted."

"Then all I need is you there." I smiled at him.  
"Is there a reason you are pushing this?"

"I'm ready. I'm beyond ready, Sugar. In about a month I have some time off coming. I was thinking if we could get it planned and set up by then, we could take an actual honeymoon. Not to mention, getting you to finally move in with me, and get a family started." He grinned.

"Baby talk already?" I smiled. The truth was I was only a year younger than PJ. We were both now in our 30's, and I had been gushing over babies for the past few years.

"You know, if I wouldn't have been so stupid before, we'd already be married, there'd already be at least one little one running around our feet. You know that." He said, with a huge grin on his face.

"One month?" I said, not really asking, more like trying to figure out what all we would need.  
"The weather would be great for an outdoor wedding. Like out back."

"You don't have to worry about money." He said.  
"Whatever you want."

"Besides being in your arms, where is my favorite place?" I asked.

"The beach." He smiled.

"If you will help me, we can get it planned fast. I have a few days off. And it's starting to slow down at work." I said. "I can take my laptop with me and get things planned there."


	9. Chapter 9

Claire had just made me the happiest I had ever been in my life. I laid there with her in my arms, listening to her talk to herself about wedding ideas, what she wanted her dress to look like.

"Oh, gees. I have to call Aunt Beth." She squealed. Her saying that reminded me that I had to call my mom. I had told her all about what I had been up too. I had called and got her advice on the ring. I knew she would be waiting.

"Go ahead, I have to call my mom too." I said, pulling out my phone.

My conversation was short, it was late in Cape Town, and I had woke her up. She was excited about the news, but I didn't want to keep her up.

"I want a picture of the ring on her hand." My mom had said. While Claire was still on the phone I grabbed her hand in mine, and snapped a picture with my phone. The first option that popped up asked if I wanted to put it on my twitter page. I smiled as I accepted the choice. I typed the simple line: 'She said YES!' Then I sent the same picture to my mom's phone.

As Claire sat her phone down on the nightstand, mine started going crazy with texts. Claire looked at me.

"What did you do?" She asked.

"I kinda posted the picture on twitter." I grinned.

"And you're surprised by the response? I just hope I don't get death threats from your crazy ass fans." She laughed.

* * *

The next few days were crazy with ideas being thrown around. Right before it was time for me to leave, we had finally decided on the date and the broad details. Claire said she was going to take care of the dress shopping and pick out the invitations before I got back.

She had her heart set on a very casual setting. She wanted it set up in the back yard. The ceremony taking place on the beach, then the reception being in the back yard.

She was very hands on with everything, and very crafty.

She would call me everyday, as she was at different stores, telling me her ideas, which were all great.

The next three weeks passed, and she had truthfully had almost everything set up. Down to the minor details. Of course I was on the road, but I had my hand in what she needed me to do.

"How are things going?" I asked her. She had went to the dress shop, and sent me a text. She had seemed pretty stressed.

"I don't know." She huffed, out of breath.

"Claire, whats wrong?" I asked. "Is there something wrong with the wedding plans?"

"No. Everything is falling into place. Aunt Beth has really been helping me a lot." Her aunt had rushed into town after a teary-eyed Claire had called her, when I had first left. She had left after a week, but Claire was talking to her everyday. I was happy that her aunt had come to help, and I knew it did Claire good to see her.

"Sugar, what's wrong?" I asked. "I can tell something is bothering you."

"No, not bothering me, PJ." She said. "I think its just all the running and stress, trying to get things perfect. I haven't been feeling great. Certainly haven't been sleeping good."

"That's nothing unusual. You never sleep good when I'm not home." I said.

"No, it's worse than that. I have had maybe 3 hours in the past week. I'm dragging." She said. "But before you say anything, I already made a doctor's appointment in a few days, so I can get some sleeping pills. Maybe that will get my sleeping back on track for the next week, until you get back home. I can't wait until you get home, so I can finally sleep in your arms. But I don't want bags under my eyes for my wedding."

She made me smile.

"I miss you Sugar." I said. "Why don't you take a break from the wedding stuff, and relax tomorrow?"

"I can't take a break. Especially tomorrow." She giggled.

"Why not?" I asked.

"My dress will be in tomorrow." She said, excitedly. "I can't wait to see it in person. It took me hours to find the perfect one. I went through a hundred catalogs. I know I drove the poor lady insane." She laughed.

"A hundred?" I asked.

"Ok, maybe five. But still. She kept showing me these upscale dresses. She even talked me into trying one on, and it was beautiful, PJ. Oh, you should have seen it." She said.

"Why didn't you get it?" I asked.

"It wasn't what I wanted. I knew what I wanted. I had it pictured in my head, I guess had to make her believe me. She finally got that I wasn't going to buy a $20,000 dress, and gave me the catalog I needed. Oh, PJ, I can't wait until you see my dress. It is perfect. Amazing. I still can't believe that I found what I wanted, and the luck I had. They didn't have it in their store, and she thought they would have to order it, but she called another of their stores, and they had one left, in my size." She gushed. I couldn't help but smile at how excited she was.

"Just a few days." I said. Wow, in less than a week I would be waiting to see my beautiful fiancee walk down the aisle to become my wife.

* * *

It was my last day on the road. I was flying home tonight after the show. I would be home with in ten hours, helping Claire set up for the wedding that was in taking place in three days.

I hadn't heard from Claire since this morning.

"How are you this morning, Sugar?" I asked as I was getting dressed, getting ready to head out for a signing session, before the show tapings tonight.

"I'm good." She said, yawning.

"Still not sleeping good?" I asked.

"No." She sighed.

"What did the doctor say?" I asked her.

"I never got to go. I got so busy with the wedding, I had to push it back. But I'm going today." She said.

"Make sure you call me when you're done." I said.

She laughed. "Like you'll answer your phone. I know how busy you are today. After the sighing, you have the magazine interview, then how many matches are you in tonight?"

"Three." I laughed. "I forgot about the interview. Thanks, Sugar." I said. "I think I'm just going to have to hire you as my personal assistant. You keep track of things way better than I do, even when you've been planning our wedding." I took a deep breath.

"Call me anyway. Leave me a message. I'll try to check them between my hectic schedule through out the day. I'm worried about you. I know you aren't feeling like yourself."

"Things will get back to normal once you get home." She said. "Everything is set with the wedding. I just need you here to help me set everything up the night before." She said.

"I'll be there. I can't wait to hold you in my arms. It seems like it's been forever." It was the truth. In the last three weeks, I had made it home one time, and it wasn't even for 24 hours. I felt guilty for having Claire take on the wedding planning herself, but she would send me pictures and we would email all the time. From everything I saw, she could make a living as a wedding planner. She had planned an amazing wedding in just one month. I couldn't even imagine what she could do if she had more time. But she insisted that everything was exactly how she wanted them to be.

"I miss you, PJ." She said. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you soon." I heard a knock on my door. "Sounds like it's time for me to head out." I sighed. "Talk to you soon, Sugar. Bye."

It was near midnight when the tapings finally ended. I had showered and was packing my bag when I grabbed my phone. I had dozens of missed calls, most from Claire. She had left numerous voicemails. My stomach sunk. She never called this much. I hit the button bringing up my voicemails.

I started with the first one, and I couldn't help but smile as her voice came on the line.

"Hey, PJ. I'm on my way to the doctor, I just wanted to call and let you know that I love you and can't wait for you to get home."

"Hey, I kinda need to talk to you. I'm sitting at the doctor. Call me if you get this within the next few minutes."

"Ok, I'm done at the doctor. I really, REALLY need to talk to you. Love you."

"Paul, really, call me as soon as you get this." Her voice was starting to have panic in it.

"Paul, call me, please."

"Call me." The panic had turned to pain. I could tell she was crying.

"I need you." Her last voicemail was barely a whisper. I ended the call with my voicemail and called her. Her phone didn't even ring, it went straight to voicemail. I tried again, as I grabbed my bag, leaving the arena, but I got the same result. I sent her a text, hoping she was just out of the service area. I asked her to call me. I ran into Cody as I ran out into the parking lot.

"Whoa. What's going on?" He asked.

"There's something wrong with Claire. She left me tons of voicemails, I could hear it in her voice. She won't answer her phone. I need to get to the airport." I said.

"Get in." He said. I jumped in and he floored it to the airport.

I tried to get an earlier flight, but there wasn't one. I had to wait an hour for my regular flight. That meant I was still four hours from home. Four hours until I could get to Claire. Four hours until I knew what was wrong.

I tired over and over to get her on the phone, with the same result every time. I sent text after text, left what felt like a million voicemails. Finally I heard the call for my flight. I made one last attempt, sending the same thing to everything I could think of that she would check, her phone and her email. I then boarded my plane, and was stuck for three hours until I got home.


	10. Chapter 10

This wasn't how I had planned the day to go. But here I sat on the floor, looking around the room of my small apartment. The coffee table in front of me. I looked at the glass top. It was covered in white powder, all lined up. Numerous bottles sat opened but untouched, and there were pills scattered about, mixed in with it all. Then the glimmer caught my eye. The razor that I had used to crush whatever pills I could get my hands on. I picked up the razor, wiping the powder off on my shorts. I smiled at the shiny piece of metal between my fingers. I knew how to take the pain away. How to stop the hurt.

* * *

While I was driving to the doctors, I was listening to the radio, when I heard the weather report come on. As the man read off the beautiful weather we were going to have for the next week, I was suddenly hit with what was going on with me. I grabbed my phone, and called PJ, knowing that he wouldn't answer, but I left a message, it made me happy to just hear his voice recording.

I sat in the waiting room, my nerves going crazy, I tried PJ again. Hoping that by some miracle he would be on a break, and be able to answer. He was always able to calm me down, but it went to his voicemail again. My appointment took longer than I thought it would, but at least I had some answers. I got dressed and called PJ, leaving another message. I couldn't help but smile as I picked up my purse.

I had to stop and pick up the last minute things for the wedding, as I headed to work. I had put in my two weeks notice, and was picking up my last check. Austin handed me my check, then another envelope.

"I can't make it to your wedding, Claire. But this is from my wife and I. Just a little something to say thank you for being such a great worker, and hopes of happiness for you and Paul in your future."

"You didn't have too." I said, as tears ran down my face. "Thank you." I said, hugging him. I left the bar and got in my car, and headed to my apartment to finish the packing. Most of the stuff I used everyday was already at PJ's, but I still had the big things there. Once I parked, I opened the envelope and almost passed out. It was a check for $10,000. As I picked up my phone to call PJ, it started ringing. I smiled to see Aunt Beth's number.

"Hey, are you ready to get here?" I asked.

"Claire?" A man asked.

"Yes." I answered.

"Sweetheart, this is Uncle Donnie. Baby, I need you to listen to me, ok?" He asked.

"Ok." I answered.

"Where are you at?" He asked.

"Sitting in my car. I just got to my apartment." I answered. "Is everything alright?"

"Claire..." I heard him sobbing. "Your Aunt Beth... She just died, she was in a car wreck."

"What?" I whispered. "No. But you guys are suppose to be flying here tomorrow."

"I'm sorry baby. I got to see her right before she passed. She told me to tell you some things." He said. "Are you listening to me?"

"Yes." I think I answered. I was numb. I couldn't think, I couldn't move. This had to be a joke.

"She said to tell you to get married, not to let this mess up your plans. She said to tell you she loves you." He cried. "There was nothing they could do. There was too much damage, her heart gave out before they could get her into surgery."

"No." I said. "I'll talk to Paul. I'll fly in to help you with the plans."

"There are no plans. She never wanted a funeral. She is being cremated. She would want you to go ahead with your plans." He said. "Please send me pictures. I really need to go. Are you going to be ok?" He asked.

"Huh? Yeah, I'll be fine." I said. "Bye." I hung up the phone and started my car. I didn't really know what I was doing, where I was going. I remembered calling Paul, then I was back at my apartment. Several bags in my hands, as I opened my door, locking it behind me. I sat everything down on the coffee table. Things went into fast motion.

* * *

The blood trickled down my leg. The red made me snap out of the trance I had been in. While wiping the blade clean I had knicked my leg. As I processed things in my head, tears poured out of my eyes. I let my arm rest on the cushions of the couch, as I did my elbow hit something. I turned to see my laptop sitting open. The paper on the keyboard catch my eyes. As I reached for it I hit a key, bringing the laptop to life. I had been checking my email. I looked at the screen. I had a message from PJ. I clicked the email, and saw a link. I clicked it and a familiar song filled my ears.

Lullaby by Nickelback; the lyrics appeared on the screen.  
_Well, I know the feeling  
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge  
And there ain't no healing  
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge  
I'm telling you that, it's never that bad  
Take it from someone who's been where you're at  
Laid out on the floor  
And you're not sure you can take this anymore_

_So just give it one more try to a lullaby  
And turn this up on the radio  
If you can hear me now  
I'm reaching out  
To let you know that you're not alone  
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell  
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone  
So just close your eyes  
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby  
Your very own lullaby_

_Please let me take you  
Out of the darkness and into the light  
'Cause I have faith in you  
That you're gonna make it through another night  
Stop thinking about the easy way out  
There's no need to go and blow the candle out  
Because you're not done  
You're far too young  
And the best is yet to come_

_So just give it one more try to a lullaby  
And turn this up on the radio  
If you can hear me now  
I'm reaching out  
To let you know that you're not alone  
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell  
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone  
So just close your eyes  
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby  
Your very own lullaby  
_

_Well, everybody's hit the bottom  
Everybody's been forgotten  
When everybody's tired of being alone  
Yeah, everybody's been abandoned  
And left a little empty handed  
So if you're out there barely hanging on..._

_Just give it one more try to a lullaby  
And turn this up on the radio  
If you can hear me now  
I'm reaching out  
To let you know that you're not alone  
And if you can't tell, I'm scared as hell  
'Cause I can't get you on the telephone_

_So just close your eyes  
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby  
Your very own lullaby  
Oh, honey here comes a lullaby  
Your very own lullaby_

I picked up the small picture the doctor had gave me. While I looked at it, I noticed the gleam from my hand. A different gleam than I had seen earlier. My engagement ring shined in the light. I smiled, knowing that when Paul got home he would comfort me. I knew then that what I was doing wouldn't help anything.

I looked at the razor in my hand, throwing it across the room. I stood, so angry at myself for what I had come so close to doing. I flipped the table, the glass shattering as it hit the floor, the contents scattering across the room. I fell to my knees crying. My head on the couch. I let my tears fall, until I could no longer move.


	11. Chapter 11

I hopped a cab as soon as I walked out of the airport. I gave him the address of Claire's apartment. It was closer, and I didn't want to take the chance of passing her. I tried her phone again, voicemail.

"Damn it Claire." I breathed. Ten minutes later he pulled up, and I saw Claire's car. I paid him and grabbed my bags, so thankful that I had decided to keep her apartment key on my key ring. I ran up the stairs and put the key in the door. I rushed in, seeing nothing but destruction in front of me. The apartment smelt of alcohol, and I saw the table turned over, the glass shattered, and the white dust all over the floor. As I walked closer to get a better look, I saw her legs on the floor. I rushed to her, seeing blood on her legs.

"Claire?" I asked, gently touching her shoulder. She jumped, as she looked up at me.

"PJ?" She mumbled.

I looked around, not believing what she had done. She hadn't drank like this in a year, and hadn't done drugs in longer than that. Now here she was, two days before our wedding, and not only was she drunk, she was stoned.

"What did you do?" I asked angrily.

Tears poured out of her eyes, and she tried to stand up, but her legs gave way and she fell back to the ground. She doubled over and pulled her knees up, laying her head on them. That's when I noticed all the glass stuck in her legs. The blood I had seen was from the broken glass that had once been the top of her table.

"Claire?" I asked, kneeling next to her. "What happened?"

"I called you, all day." She managed to get out, gasping for air.  
"I needed you, and you weren't here."

"So you turn to drugs and alcohol?" I asked, I knew she could hear the anger in my voice.  
"Why would you do this to us?"

"I didn't do it." She said softly. "I was going to, but I didn't."

"But why, Claire?" I asked, pulling her up onto the couch.  
"You knew that I was really busy today. You knew that I wouldn't be able to call you." I took a deep breath.  
"Is this because of the wedding? Is it too soon for you?"

Her head snapped up, and she glared at me. "No." She simply said, as tears continued to roll down her face.

I reached down and started brushing the glass from her legs. "Then why would you do this?"

"I swear I didn't do it. I promise PJ." She cried.

"Ok, I believe you, but why would you even have this stuff?" I asked.  
"I heard your voicemails, at first you were so happy, but then... What happened?"

"Aunt Beth, she's dead." Claire said, leaning into me. I wrapped my arms around her.

"She's what?" I asked, hoping I had heard her wrong.

"She was in an accident. She died before they could get her to surgery. Uncle Donnie called. He said he got to talk with her before she passed, and she told him to tell me not to let this stop our wedding, and she loves me. How can she be gone?" Claire sobbed into my chest, as I held her tight. She pulled away from me.  
"I'm an awful person. I don't know what happened. It's like I blacked out. I was numb, but then I was so full of hurt. I ended up back here with all this in front of me. Then I saw the razor. I had it to my wrist, Paul. But then I saw the sonogram. When I grabbed it, the laptop came on and I got your email. I should have known better. I should have never even thought. But I didn't think. I couldn't process what I was doing." She tried to get up, but her legs were still weak. Her body didn't want to process the pain in her, that along with hardly any sleep. She needed rest, and I knew it.

"Wait, the sonogram?" I asked, not knowing what she meant.

"That's what makes me so awful." She said, handing me a black and white flimsy paper.

"What is this?" I asked, not really able to make heads or tails of it.

"That's our baby." She said, fresh tears falling.  
"That's why I've been so tired, and have no energy. I'm pregnant."

"Pregnant?" It took me a second to realize what she had said. A smile crossed my face.  
"A baby? Our baby?" I almost laughed, but then I looked at Claire. She looked so devastated. I pulled her too me.  
"Claire, things will be ok. We can postpone the wedding. Fly to Ohio for the funeral. I won't be upset. Everyone will understand."

"There is no funeral. She didn't want one. She will be cremated." Claire said, taking a deep breath.  
"What kind of mother will I be, when I almost did this?" She asked.

"Claire, you were hurt. You didn't do it. You made the right choice." I smiled.  
"Lets get your legs cleaned up and I'll take you home." I said, kissing her forehead.

* * *

Claire was resting comfortably. Her even breathing let me know she was finally asleep. She had cried herself to sleep. I had my arms around her, not wanting to let her go. We had talked about everything. The anger I had felt was gone. Joy had replaced it. The joy of knowing that we had a baby on the way.

Once I was sure I wouldn't disturb her, I gently slid her head off my chest and got out of the bed. It was late, but I knew I needed to call her uncle.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late, Donnie. But I just got home, I found Claire. She's really upset. I was just calling to see if there was anything I can do for you. Anything at all." I said.

"Things are taken care of." Donnie said.

I explained to him what I wanted to do, and he agreed.

"She will love it. Give her my love, and let her know that I will be thinking of her during the time of the wedding. Please make sure to send me a picture. I asked her, but I don't know if she heard me. She took it really hard. How is she doing?"

"She's resting now." I said, knowing that I needed to finish up what I was doing, and get back to her, before she realized I was gone.

I was up with the sun. Claire was still sleeping. I went down to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, before heading to the shower. I pulled on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I had a lot to do today. As I stepped into the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee, the door bell sounded. I stopped what I was doing, rushing to the door, before the noise would wake Claire up. I smiled as I saw Cody standing on the doorstep.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well, Mostly because I wanted to check on Claire, but I figured you may need a hand with setting things up."

"Thanks. Claire's still sleeping. She had a very rough day. Her aunt passed yesterday." I explained.

"Wait, wasn't she like the only family Claire had?" Cody asked, as we each got a cup of coffee.

"Yeah. She took it really hard." I said.  
"Her day was full of ups and downs." I smiled, thinking about the baby.

"What was that grin about?" Cody asked.

"You know if I tell you this before my mom, and she finds out, she'll kill me." I said.

"Ok, now you have to tell me." Cody said.

"Claire's pregnant." I grinned. "Just over a month."

"Congrats man." Cody smiled.

After we drank our coffee, we walked outside and started on the tasks for the day.


	12. Chapter 12

I woke up with a heavy heart. Not only because of the lost of my aunt, but because of how I handled it.

What I would have done to my child. Guilt hit me hard, as my hands rested gently on my lower abdomen.

I reached over to hug PJ. He wasn't there. His side of the bed was cold. I opened my eyes, looking at the clock on PJ's night stand. 10am. I knew I had needed rest, but I also had so much to get done today. I got out of bed, slipping my silk robe on. I was making my way to the bathroom to shower, when I heard noise out back. I looked out the window to see about five guys, all setting up the back yard. I noticed Cody, then my eyes fell on PJ. His shirt was soaked with sweat. He was wiping the sweat off his forehead as he sat down a chair. His hair a mess, his legs covered in sand, but at that moment all I could think about was how sexy he looked.

I found a tank top and pair of shorts, and I hurried down stairs to help the guys. As I hit the last stair, I got really dizzy. I had to sit down.

"Claire, are you ok?" PJ hurried to my side.

"Yeah, just dizzy." I said.

"When's the last time you ate?" He asked.

"Lunch yesterday." I said. He picked me up and carried me to one of the stools in the kitchen. He grabbed me some fruit.

"Eat, Sugar." He said, as he started to make his way back out the door.

"Paul?" I asked, making him stop and turn towards me. I got up and kissed him.

"Thank you." I said.

"I love you." He smiled, wrapping his arms around me.

"I love you." I smiled into another kiss. I watched him walk out and I sat back down to eat. After eating I walked outside and looked around. It looked like they had it under control, so I worked inside the house, finishing up some last minute details. I was just finishing when the door bell rang.

I got up and went to the door, expecting to see PJ's family.

"What are you doing here?" I gasped.

"Paul called me a few weeks back."

"Come in." I said. "How are you?"

"Can I just say sorry. I should have been there for you, but instead I ran, not really knowing how to deal with things."

"It's ok, Sarah." I said. Hugging my oldest friend.

"It wasn't your fault."

"How are you?" She asked.

"Good. Pregnant." I smiled.

"Oh, congratulations." She said, hugging me again.

"Come on, let me show you my dress." I said. As we started to walk away from the door, the bell rang again.

PJ's family was standing there.

"Come in." I smiled, hugging his mom.

"Paul's out back." I said.

"How are you doing, Dear?" She asked. "Junior told me about your aunt." She rubbed my back. I tried to hold the tears in, but had no luck. She pulled me too her.  
"Things will be alright. It's healthy to cry."

I wiped my eyes. "I'll be ok." I said.  
"I was just about to show Sarah my dress. Would you like to see it? Aunt Beth helped me pick it out, so, it's kinda like she will still be with me tomorrow." I forced a smile.

"Oh, it's beautiful. I can't wait to see it on you." Paul's mom gushed.  
"I better go find him." She said.

I walked everyone out back, and called for Paul. He rushed over, after kissing me, he hugged his mom, and said hello to Sarah. He was showing everyone around, that's when I took the chance to slip away. I walked into Paul's office, and closed the door behind me. I snuggled up into the chair I normally sat in while watching him work on his computer. I took the picture from the side table, and let my fingers run over it.

Paul with his arms wrapped tightly around me, and Uncle Donnie doing the same with Aunt Beth. The ocean in the back ground. Again I was hit with guilt. I picked up my phone.

"Uncle Donnie?" I asked.

"Yes, Claire." He said weakly.

"I was just calling to check on you and see how you were today." I said.

"I'm holding up. I just got back from the funeral parlor. Remember the bracelet you had gotten her, with the small locket of her and your mom?" He asked.

"Yes. She wore it all the time." I smiled.

"I'm sending it to you. As much as I would love to hold on to everything she ever touched, I know that you need something of hers too. She thought so much of that bracelet, and I know she would have wanted you to have it. It's already on its way. It should be there before your wedding. That way you can have her with you." He said.

"Thank you so much." I cried.

"Listen I know you have a lot going on. So I'll let you go. You have a beautiful wedding, and a terrific honeymoon. I love you Claire."

"I love you Uncle Donnie." I hung up the phone. I pulled my knees up to my chest, resting my head on them.

A few minutes later the door opened slowly, and I heard footsteps coming towards me. As soon as the hand touched me, I smiled.

"Hey PJ." I said softly.

"Are you ok?" He asked. I nodded. He wrapped his arms around me and gently lifted me up, taking my spot in the chair, and sitting me on his lap. He cradled me.  
"It's ok to mourn." He said softly.

"I talked to Uncle Donnie. He's sending me the bracelet I had gotten her." I said.  
After a few minutes, I wiped my face, and took a deep breath.  
"Alright. I have things I have to get done."

"Claire, you can take time for you. No one will be upset if you just lay in bed all day. I know you're still tired." He said.

"I slept really well last night." I smiled, kissing him.  
"I'm ok. I promise." He helped me up and took my hand, pulling me with him out the back doors.  
"It looks amazing." I smiled. I looked out at the beach. It looked better than I had imagined it would. Behind the arch was the ocean. The chairs were set up, and the back yard was decorated beautifully.  
I kissed PJ. "Thank you so much." I said.

"Lets go get washed up, and then all head out to dinner." PJ said.

* * *

I woke up with PJ's arms still around me. The night before had been a lot of fun.

_"A toast." PJ said, everyone pouring wine. I placed my hand over my glass, and he looked at me smiling, grabbing the pitcher of water. He knew every one's eyes were on us. He raised his glass, and everyone followed suit._

_"To friends, family, future, happily ever afters, and baby Lloyd." He smiled._

_"What?" His mom gasped. "A baby?" She smiled._

_"Yes, we are pregnant." PJ grinned._

I didn't want to move, afraid I would wake him, but I had to see what time it was. As I glanced at the clock, I noticed his eyes were open.

"Good morning." I smiled.

"Hey Sugar." He yawned.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked.

"Nah." He smiled. "Imagine, in just a few hours, you will be Mrs. Lloyd, my wife." He pulled my lips to his. He looked over at the clock. "Damn, It's already noon. People will be here anytime. We are going to have a house full of people."


	13. Chapter 13

I left Claire in the shower. I walked down stairs pulled a t-shirt on. My mom was in the kitchen cooking.

"Good afternoon, PJ." She smiled.  
"Are you ready for this?"

"I'm beyond ready." I smiled.

"Oh, a package came for you earlier. I set the box on the table just inside the door."

"Thanks." I said, dashing off, hoping it was what I had ordered.

I ripped open the box, and smiled as I opened the smaller box inside.

Beth's bracelet was tucked safely inside.

As Claire walked down the stairs, she was rushed off to another room to get her hair done. I hurried after her.

"What are you doing Paul? It's bad luck to see the bride the day of the wedding." Sarah smiled.

"Well, seems how we woke up in the same bed, not to mention the things that happened in the shower, I'd say that's already out the window. Anyway, I have something for Claire." I said, walking over and kneeling in front of her.  
"I know the past few days have been a roller coaster. I want you to know that I'm always going to be here for you. And I know this won't replace your aunt, but this is so part of her can still be with you. Always."  
I pulled the necklace from the box. It was a small silver heart.  
"Some of her ashes are in here." I smiled, placing the necklace around her neck. Then I gave her the bracelet.

"Thank you." She smiled, as tears formed in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around my neck, squeezing me tight.  
"I love you." She whispered. I kissed her gently and left the room.

* * *

I looked myself over in the mirror. I had on a pair of Khaki shorts, and white button up top. My hair was fixed, just the way she loved it. There was a knock on the door.

"Paul, It's time." Cody said, peeking his head through the door.

"You ready?" He asked.

"Oh yeah." I said. I walked out the door.

"Have you seen her?" I asked.

"No, they are standing guard outside the door. I had no chance." He grinned, as we walked out the back door.

The chairs were full. I nodded a hello to everyone as I made my way down the aisle. The sides of the aisle had been outlined with white rose petals, matching the ones Claire had picked out for her bouquet.

I smiled at the reverend, as I took my spot in front of the arch, waiting anxiously for Claire to make her appearance.

The quiet talking came to a hush as the girls who had been helping Claire made their way out of the house, and took their seats.

My heart was beating wildly as I awaited her appearance. I looked down at my bare feet, gently playing with the sand.

The music softly started, making me looked up.

There she was, standing at the end of the aisle. Her bare feet covered with sand. Her dress started right above her knees in the front, the back was longer, but it didn't touch the ground. The silk material flowed slightly with the mild breeze coming off of the ocean. I saw the white roses she was holding in her hands, and the bracelet was around her wrist. Her dress was strapless. It was stunning. Then I caught sight of her face. Her hair was perfectly piled on top of her head. The small heart necklace hung around her neck. Her make-up was expertly placed. Not that it made her any more beautiful than she already was, there was the gleam in her eyes. I smiled as she walked down the aisle .


	14. Chapter 14

I still couldn't believe that it have been seven months since PJ and I had been married.

I looked in the mirror, putting my necklace on. I looked down my my stomach, as our little girl shifted around inside me.

I smiled, placing my hand on my stomach.

"Just another month, then you'll be out, and in my arms." I whispered.

"You ready, Sugar?" PJ asked, coming out of the bathroom.

We were heading to the arena. I was glad that he was in town. I had missed him for the last few months when he was on the road. I was home, fixing the nursery to my liking.

He had been home for a week, and even got to join me to my doctors appointment today.

_"You're already thinning." Rachael said, as she checked me. "Let me go get the doctor to check you."_

_She had been my nurse from the start, and after my many concerned calls, we had become good friends._

_"Have you been having contractions?" Dr. Smith asked me._

_"Not really. I mean a few, but I put them off as braxton hicks. I still have a month to go." I said._

_"You're dilated to about 2 or 3." He said, seeing the shock on my face. "This doesn't mean that you will have this baby tonight. You're ok to go about your normal life. It could still be a while. Sometimes your body just prepares it's self too much."_

_"But isn't it too early for the baby?" PJ asked._

_"No. Even if the baby came right now, she should be fine. Her lungs should be good." He said.  
"I guess what I'm saying is if you go into labor, we won't stop it." He pulled his glove off and patted my leg.  
"Like I said, normal life. I've seen many women in the same spot you are at right now, and they end up having to be induced." He smiled._

We arrived at the arena, making our way around the back. As the afternoon turned to evening and the arena filled with fans, I took my seat in the front row.

Tonight PJ had a match against Christian for the Intercontinental Championship.

I watched the first few matches, then PJ's music hit. I stood and cheered him as he made his way around the ring. He came over and kissed me softly, the camera following him, then he made his way into the ring, waiting for Christian.

The match went back and forth, until PJ finally got the upper hand. He caught Christian with a kick to the head, and he landed in the perfect position for the 450 splash. As he stood on the top ropes he looked at me and winked. He landed the move and covered Christian for the three count, winning the belt.

I was so excited I jumped up to cheer, as I did, I felt a gush of water flow down my legs. My eyes grew wide with terror, as I looked down at the small puddle on the floor.

"I won, Sugar." PJ said, in front of me. I looked up. He saw the look on my face.  
"What is it?"

"My water just broke." I gasped.

PJ looked around, and saw some security guards.

"Hey, get her over this barrier!" He yelled. They came over and gently walked me around to a lower spot.  
"Careful, her water broke." As soon as I was in PJ's arms, contractions started. I stopped where I was, leaning over and holding my stomach with both arms, as PJ kept me from falling to the ground. Some how we made it to the back, and to the locker room. PJ pulled off his ring tights, and pulled his jeans on, then pulled his t-shirt over his head. He grabbed his bag and we made our way to the car, stopping few times for contractions.

PJ sped the whole way, calling the doctor on the way.

"Paul, slow down, I'd like to get there alive." I said, both of my hands on the dash board. I breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled into the hospital parking lot. He carried me into the lobby. We were already pre-admitted. I was glad I had taken the time to do that.

Within minutes I was in a room dressed in a hospital gown. I was in the bed, with monitors hooked up.

"Wow, you are ready to have this baby." Dr. Smith said. "Let's get everything ready, and we can start pushing." He said. People filed into the room as the nurses and doctor readied everything for the arrival of our precious baby girl.

Less than an hour later I heard her cry. I smiled, tears forming in my eyes. She was ok.


	15. Chapter 15

Tears rolled down my cheeks as our baby made her way into this world.

Claire's hand was wrapped tightly around mine.

I gasped as our daughter took her first breath. Her first cry filled the room.

"Look at her Claire. Elizabeth Marie Lloyd. She's beautiful." I smiled. I felt Claire let go of my hand, and I turned to make sure she had seen Beth.

My knees grew weak, as I saw Claire's eyes roll into the back of her head.

"Claire? CLAIRE!" I screamed as the monitor's started warning, and Beth was rushed out of the room, as more nurses ran in. I was pushed back and I watched in terror as the doctor and nurses went to work, trying to save the life of the women I loved.

"What's going on? Is she ok?" I asked.

As more doctors rushed in, I was hurried out of the room and down the hall to a row of three seats. I sat there waiting for any word on either of the reasons that my earth still spun.

An hour passed. I felt like I was going to explode. I just needed to know if she was ok. She had to be ok.

"Mr. Lloyd?" A young nurse stood in front of me. I jumped up.

"Is Claire ok?" I asked softly.

"I don't know. The doctors are still in the room with her." She frowned. "But if you would like, your daughter is in the nursery. I can take you in there for you to hold her." I followed behind her.

She lead me to a small, clear bassinet. I looked down to see the spitting image of Claire. Beth's wide eyes were searching. I picked her up and cried.

"We will get through this." I told her, as I placed my lips on her tiny forehead. "I promise. We will make it, no matter what."

* * *

I watched my daughter run down the beach. At 18 months old she could really go fast in the sand. We had spent the morning on the beach behind the house building sand castles and playing in the waves. She giggled as I grabbed her up. Her giggle sounded like Claire's. Everything about her reminded me of Claire.

I loved the time I got to spend with her. I had taken a few months off after she was born, but I was back on the road now.

It seemed things were getting back to normal around the house, as normal as they could be.

"Are you hungry, Beth?" I asked her, as the sand turned to grass under our feet.

"Yes, Daddy." Her musical voice answered.

"Look who it is." I smiled pointing to the door.

Beth giggled as she pulled her tiny hand from mine and ran to the door.

"MOMMA!" She called.

Claire bend down and scoped our little girl up into her arms. She looked beautiful in her sun dress. I smiled as she turned to go into the house, her ever growing belly very noticeable from the side.

I jogged up and took Beth from her arms, and placed her into her chair, letting Claire replace her in my arms.

I kissed her, as Beth giggled at us.

"How are you today?" I asked, letting a hand rest on her belly.

"I'm good." Claire smiled.  
"You son, however is very active." She said, placing her hand on top of mine.

"I love you, Claire Lloyd."

**The End**

* * *

**I want to thank everyone who has taken their time to read Lullaby.  
**

**A special thanks to Nexusgurl450, xwwefanwriterx, and Zombie450AirBournePrincess for all the kind words!  
**


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